A man goes to visit his mother-in-law in the hospital, to see about her wounded leg. The doctor asks, “Can you describe what happened, please?” The man replies, “She got shot.” The doctor says, “You’ll have to be more accurate.” “I know,” says the man, “I’m just not that experienced with guns.”
My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so Dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. “Oh, we returned the piano,” said Dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a trumpet instead.” I asked him why, and he said, “Because with a trumpet, she can’t sing.”
A blonde goes into in electrical shop and spots a bargain. “I’d like to buy this TV,” she tells the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replies. The woman hurries home and dyes her hair black. She goes back to the shop and says to the salesman, “I’d like to buy that TV please.” The salesman looks at her and says, “I’m sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.” The woman goes back to her house and goes for a more drastic disguise, cutting off her hair and changing her entire outfit. She waits a few days before going back to the shop. “I’d like to buy this TV,” she says. “I’m sorry we don’t sell to blondes.” The salesman says. The woman asks, “How do you know I’m blonde?” “Because that’s a microwave!” he replies.
A man goes to his lawyer and says, “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.” The lawyer smiles at the man and replies, “not a problem, leave it all to me.” The guy looks somewhat upset and says, “can’t I leave some for my family too?”